Washington Post reader definitions

Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate word meanings.

  1. Coffee (n.), a  person who is coughed upon.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj.),  appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
  10. Balderdash (n.), a  rapidly receding hairline.
  11. Testicle (n.), a  humorous question on an exam.
  12. Rectitude (n.), the  formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately  before he examines you.
  13. Oyster (n.), a person who  sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
  14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
  15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
  16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

You mean these words have different meaning to these?

Thanks to Chris for sharing

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